1. Just Priceless
2. Restorative
3. Percussive
4. The Davnesaur Polka
5. The Worst Rock Song Ever
6. An Experiment
7. Ride of the Belkies
8. The Song We Wrote Last Night (Das Ninja Turtles)
9. Loud Guy on a Train, ft. 1337Band
   

Lyrics:
This is the advice that I'm giving you.
This is what I think you should be doing.
This is not a difficult thing to understand.
This is the point where you should listen to me.

Preparing for the future is important,
but worrying about it doesn't do you any good.

When the Alien Invasion Comes,
be sure to have plenty of drinking water for defensive purposes.

Screwing up isn't the end of the world...
Well, unless you work in a nuclear missile silo or something.

No matter how much fun it will seem at the time,
taunting zombie's is a generally bad idea.

Just because something is new doesn't make it better.
Just because something is old doesn't make it better.

This is the advice that I'm giving you.
This is what I think you should be doing.
This is not a difficult thing to understand.
This is the point where you should listen to me.

Just because you suspect someone is a vampire,
doesn't mean you should come after them with a wooden stake

To Paraphrase a Wiser Man Than I:
A towel is about the most massively useful thing anyone can have.

Sometimes people just need to shoot each other with nerf guns

Don't be embarrassed if you're wrong, just own up to it.
Contrarily, if you know that you're right,
fight for it until you're blue in the face.

Never Trust a Robot.

This is the advice that I'm giving you.
This is what I think you should be doing.
This is not a difficult thing to understand.
This is the point where you should listen to me.

The Buddha says that grasping leads to sorrow.
Not grasping leads to falling off the monkey bars.

Your brother is not a werewolf. Trust me.

No one cares about your RPG character,
so you may want to stop telling people about his stats.

Don't freak out about things that have already happened
- just concentrate on what you can change in the future.
It's better to be moving forward than caught in the headlights.

Always wear comfortable shoes.

This is the advice that I'm giving you.
This is what I think you should be doing.
This is not a difficult thing to understand.
This is the point where you should listen to me.

There's a difference between paying attention to something
and freaking out about it.

Your favorite science fiction series is not real,
and under no circumstances is a portal going to open up and take you to it
- so please stop writing stories in which that happens.
Especially if it's a slash-fic.

No More Wire Hangers.

If what you're doing doesn't make you or someone you care about happy,
then you need to ask yourself why the heck are you doing it?

If you wake up in a bathtub full of ice,
just assume your kidney is gone and that you're never getting it back.

This was the advice that I gave you.
This is what I think you should be doing.
This is not a difficult thing to understand.
This is the point where you should stop listening to me.

Lyrics:
Eyu jyx le umoi aht
Ki fahix va hib.
Iz te fe jin ve e ish
Ouu myaxa quib.

Eiy wg eas a qui ni
Pe go ev vi me.
Eoc elf yt uni dyz
Ji eg zu fu e!

1 2 3 4 Davnesaur
4 5 6 4 Davnesaur
Umlout, umlout, umlout, umlout
4 5 6 4 Davnesaur

Aya bahib sezwei
A' O mi wi uc.
Kay yx a qui bex fudon
Luo ib wu spuc.

P.T. F.C. R.Z. grun
Re fie V. noob.
Ru gu at Z. kue T.B.
B.P.T. asoob!

1 2 3 4 Davnesaur
4 5 6 4 Davnesaur
Umlout, umlout, umlout, umlout
4 5 6 4 Davnesaur

Davnesaur, Running through the fields of the Earth
Davnesaur, Hunted to the brink of extinction by Men
Davnesaur, Devouring to expand his girth
Davnesaur, never will rise again

1 2 3 4 Davnesaur
4 5 6 4 Davnesaur
Umlout, umlout, umlout, umlout
4 5 6 4 Davnesaur

1 2 3 4 Davnesaur
4 5 6 4 Davnesaur
Umlout, umlout, umlout, umlout
4 5 6 4 Davnesaur

Lyrics:
We are the Gods of Rock and Roll!
Out of Control!
Possess your soul!

We are the way to prepare!
When nothing's there!
And you've got to go upstairs!

La la la la la la!
La la la la la la!
Waaaoooh!

We are the way of the union call (?)
And I'm not prepared
to turn them on!

Did you remember the video to return!
You'll never learn!
Late fees have sucked up all of the money you've earned!

We are metal, we are strong!
But I'm too true
to the way of law (?)
Whoa!
Low!
Oh!

Lyrics:
It's Ride of the Belkies! (Repeat a lot)

Lyrics:
Exhubrent sugar fueled fun
Late night knickers.
Sunday morning kickers.
Donatello's catching sun.

The party's just begun
"Mountain Dew." Me and you.
Raphael's the cocky one.

We haven't gone crazy yet.

Saturday cartoons
A million foot soldiers.
Never getting older.
Mikey acting like a buffoon.

Sugar cereal and spoon
Never getting taller.
Be the first caller.
Leonardo's here 'til noon.

We haven't gone crazy yet.

The Ninja Turtles
My first heroes
Vaulting over hurdles
Until we're old enough for Beer-ohs.

The Ninja Turtles
My first heroes
Vaulting over hurdles
Until we're old enough for Beer-ohs.

Hanging in the turtle van
April O'Neil.
Is she the real deal?
Or is she really a man?

Story of ver-man
Splinter found the ooze.
Made the headline news.
defeating the tin can man.

We haven't gone crazy yet.

The Ninja Turtles
My first heroes
Vaulting over hurdles
Until we're old enough for Beer-ohs.

The Ninja Turtles
My first heroes
Vaulting over hurdles
Until we're old enough for Beer-ohs.

The Ninja Turtles
Green Skin!
Sewer Kin!
Mutagen!
Rin Tin Tin
Dueling Djinn!
Shout from the din!
Always win!

(...You guys are retarded...)

The Ninja Turtles
My first heroes
Vaulting over hurdles
Until we're old enough for Beer-ohs.

We haven't gone crazy yet.

Lyrics (These are the lyrics without all the clipping, because I'm lazy.):
In Japan, No one talks loudly on the Trains.
They Just sit, read their comics, and just think.

But When I come to Japan,
As a Big American,
I talk on the Train!
And I bring my Band with me!

Loud Guy on the Train!

Hey Schoolgirls!
Take a picture of me with your cellphone!
Rude! Tall! Blonde!
You know you want to kiss me!

But then sometimes, I feel that Maybe
I'd like to be more like the Japanese
Quiet, Small, Just Sitting, and Thinking.

But it's not going to happen!
Why White Skin! And my Huge (cough)

Loud Guy on the Train!

Listen to me, talking to my loud friends!
You don't know me! You Don't Want me!
But you'll take me to meet your Mother...